


We Used To Be Free

by BornToRun (generals_best)



Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-12
Updated: 2015-01-12
Packaged: 2018-03-07 07:37:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3166787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/generals_best/pseuds/BornToRun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They can't live with nor without each other.</p><p>WARNING: no happily ever after.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Used To Be Free

_You left my heart like an abandoned car_  
_Old and worn and no use at all  
But I used to be free _

*****

Logan took an unsteady breath. This was going to be the hardest thing he's ever done in his life. Nothing could prepare him for it and nothing had. This did not compare to any of the horrors that he knows he's done in his past, even as they are only dimly there in the back of his memory. 

He had been pacing the room for the last fifteen minutes or so, going through it all in his head over and over again. He'd always come to the same conclusion though. It was bound to end and it had to end now. He sat down heavily on the bed, _their_ bed, with a sigh and waited.  


He didn't know how much time had passed as the door to their room finally opened quietly. He didn't have to look up to know that Scott was surprised to see him here. It had been weeks since he had set foot into their bedroom.

Although he was surprised to see the man sitting on the bed Scott forced himself to not let it show too much and stepped into the room. He closed the door and leaned his back to it, crossing his arms over his chest. He stood there for a moment in silence.

“You're back” he stated.

“Hmm”. Still, Logan hadn't looked up. He'd always known that his demons were going to be his downfall yet he never expected it to be this one bringing him to his knees. 

“You going to say anything?” Scott's voice was tight. Logan knew he was looking at him. 

He took a deep breath and finally forced his head up, taking in Scott as he stood there with his back to the door, his jacket still on and arms crossed, his car keys in one hand. Logan had to swallow. After all these years he was still perfect to him.

“Scott... I...“ he began, not knowing what he was going to say. “I... don't know what ta say...”

Scott huffed a small ironic laugh, his mouth twisting into a cold smirk. “Nothing new there. You leave without a word and you come back with nothing to say.” 

He shook his head and went to the small table to discard his keys, then shrugged out of his jacket and placed it on a chair. 

Turning around, he said: “You know Logan, of all the people I thought you might have the balls. That you are not a coward and face the mess you've made.” He looked challengingly at the other man.

That got an incredulous laugh out of Logan. “That I made?! Scuse me, Scotty but it usually takes two ta... foxtrott.”

“Tango.” Scott said under his breath. 

“What was that?” Logan stood up from the bed. He could feel his anger rising by the minute. 

Scott held his ground. “The saying is: it takes two to _tango_.”

“See... that's 'xactly what's the problem here. Ya not listening. Ya nagging all the time about stuff that ain't important.” He advanced towards the other man. 

“I am not listening because you are not talking to me!” Scott said with more rage than he had expected. 

The last weeks had been simply too much. Whenever he and Logan had tried to talk it ended in a fight with one leaving in the end, which was usually Logan. Scott was at his wit's end. He didn't know how to right this anymore and with Logan avoiding him most of the time there was no working it out. Not with words, not even with fists as they used to when this all started. Whenever he thought back to their beginning he asked himself now how he could have been so blind. Everybody had been telling him that he was insane, thinking that he could tame the Wolverine into a settled life. But Scott was stubborn if nothing else when he faced a seemingly hopeless battle. So why was it that he felt like giving up for the first time in his life now?  


He hadn't realised that neither had said a word in a while. They still stood facing each other with only a small distance between them that seemed ever more insuperable. 

“I know, Scott” Logan sighed. “But it seems I don't know how anymore.”  
He was about to turn around when he felt Scott grip his arm lightly. 

“Logan... don't...” 

The last was said so quietly that he was sure he had missed it would it not have been for his keen senses. It spoke volumes about how well they knew each other. He halted but didn't turn back. For a moment he was fighting a battle inside himself. When he finally did turn to face Scott he took his hand from his arm and held it loosely, his fingers finding the small silver band on his husband's ring finger. 

“I know that ya wanted this to play out differently for us, Slim. Gods know I wanted it ta be different!”

He looked down at their joined hands and the silver reflecting the evening light that filled their room. “I know that I'm a failure in ya eyes.”  


“Oh Logan.” With his free hand Scott touched Logan's cheek lightly, trying to lift his gaze up to his own. On instinct Logan leaned into the touch, closing his eyes and inhaling Scott's scent. This was so familiar, this closeness. 

“Please Logan, look at me.” Scott asked quietly. 

Logan opened his eyes and found Scott's gaze behind his glasses.

“If anyone is to blame for this than it's the both of us. We fucked up, huh? Me as well as you.” The small smile on his lips was sad.  


Logan's breath caught in his throat before he cleared it with a choked up sound. He released Scott's hand and brought his arms around the younger man. Holding him tight he whispered into his neck “God Slim, how I wish I could fix it. We used ta be free together. But this is killing us.”

He felt Scott's nod against his face. They stood like this for a very long time. Each holding the other in a tight embrace. Eventually it was Logan who peeled Scott's arms off from around his waist.

“This is it then.”

Scott had turned to the window and watched the sun set in its usual red. 

With one last look at the man he loved so much it hurt Logan took the duffel bag he hadn't bothered unpacking and left. They were going to be free again.

 

*****

_We're gonna separate ourselves tonight  
We're always running scared but holding knives_

(Biffy Clyro – Black Chandelier)

**Author's Note:**

> The song "Black Chandelier" by Biffy Clyro inspired this one. Although the lyrics suggest a more consequent ending than what I wrote, this scene between Scott and Logan formed in my head when I was listening to it today. I planned it to be more of a fight and separation scenario but somehow the undying love between these two sneeked in and changed the direction slightly.  
> I don't know how it happened but this is the first fic I wrote in one go. From the first idea to this it only took about 2 hours. I am sill amazed that I am capable of such a thing.


End file.
